Confidence Before Courtship: Why Healing Must Happen First

Blog Title: “Confidence Before Courtship: Why Healing Must Happen First”

Category: The Healing Room

Date: June 23, 2025

You attract what you carry.

Not what you claim — but what you truly carry within.

That’s the unspoken message tucked inside the viral “Confident Single Woman” video that dropped into my feed today like divine confirmation. Not just for me — but for every woman asking why the pattern keeps repeating.

This is what I heard in the Spirit:

When you’re whole in God, you stop looking for a man to heal wounds that only Heaven can seal.

Let’s break it down:

1. Confidence Isn’t Loud — It’s Healed

The world teaches us that confidence is about looks, status, or presentation.

But Heaven defines confidence as clarity in identity.

You don’t attract from your lashes — you attract from your spirit.

And when your spirit is still fragmented, you won’t recognize when you’re choosing from brokenness.

2. Being “Nice” Isn’t the Same as Being “Ready”

One of the most convicting truths is this:

Soft doesn’t always mean sanctified.

Just because someone is calm, quiet, or gentle doesn’t mean they’re whole — or aligned.

Sometimes we cling to “safe energy” because we’ve never experienced God’s version of covered.

But Kingdom love requires more than comfort — it requires covenant.

3. Insecurity Attracts Baggage — Not Destiny

The video boldly said:

“When you’re insecure, you start to attract baggage.”

And whew — the truth stung because it’s real.

Until we know who we are (in God, not just in goals), we will place unnecessary pressure on our partners to fill voids they were never called to heal.

4. Your Fullness Must Come 

Before

 You Partner

“Before I started making relationship decisions, I had to get healed. I had to know who I was.”

This isn’t about being perfect — it’s about being solid.

Solid in faith. Solid in identity. Solid in emotional regulation.

You don’t need to be flawless — but you do need to be faithful.

Final Word for the Healing Woman:

You are not waiting on a man to complete you.

You are being strengthened by God to enter your next season with discernment, clarity, and joy.

You’re not too picky — you’re just finally choosing from a healed place.

Scripture to Anchor the Message:

Proverbs 4:23 (NIV)

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”

Because you don’t date from your diary — you date from your depth.